I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
