My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
