Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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