Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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