Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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