If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
