this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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