the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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