The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
