how can u be prego again
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
