I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
