whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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