So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize