I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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