Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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