When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
