His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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