well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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