Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize