My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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