whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
