Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
