In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
