You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
