The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
