i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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