My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
