i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
