It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
