I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize