Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
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He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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