If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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