Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize