My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
