HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
