you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
