Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
