I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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