Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
