so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Alive.
So much puke
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
