why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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