Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
