I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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