I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
