just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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