I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Randomize
