i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize