If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
