i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
