I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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