I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize