Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
