I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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