he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
