Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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